Grass is greener...
02.27.07 (6:46 am) [edit]What is it that makes us want what we can't have? Why work so fucking hard to get something and then once you have it..... you don't want it anymore. Nothing is ever good enough, always looking for something better, something more..... Even when that something isn't better. I know I'm not completely happy with my relationship. I know full fucking well I'm "settling" but I'm damaged goods, with a truckload of baggage. No matter what I do, what I lost is not coming back. There's not going to be a miracle reunion... I'm not going back in time to wake up in 2000 when everything was ok. It's been almost four years now since STS left me. I should be FUCKING OVER IT. What the fuck! How fucking long is he going to fuck with me?? It so fucking stupid to let the past screw with now. I fucking know that. Remind why I thought feeling emotions again was such a great idea??
It's been a while
02.26.07 (12:46 am) [edit]I'm still alive and struggling. I'm working six shifts a week now. I have no energy to do this and I have nothing left after. I'm running pretty much on pure apathy. Either be dead tired at home or dead tired at work. Doesn't matter to me which. Both have there own bad points. At least most the time I get paid to be miserable at work.
